Anath Hartmann is an English major at Georgetown University. She lives on a cul de sac with her family and a dog that has a terrible habit of destroying things. She would like to write Salinger-esque novels after college.
Do I look lonely?
This is how it goes.
21 and weird, half unhappy and half upset,
you frequent a bar a fortnight
for a year with Pretend Friends and when you get home at 1,
2 am, you think: I am as bad now as I was before I went out.
The problem might be that you
Are in the wrong place.
Drive an hour and still feel wrong.
Fly across the country and feel empty for months.
Leave it entirely,and you may see minimal changes.
But if you belong nowhere, what should you do when you get home at night?
When it's the middle of the week and you are so heart shatteringly
Alone you think about getting in your car and running away?
See, you may dance in a bar on Saturday, but three hours later, my dear,
you're lonely again, at home, and the buzz of whiskey that stops
21 and tortured
is beginning to wear off.