Volume I, Issue II Winter 2002

I would like to implore everyone to eat as many artichokes as is humanly possible.

"Why," you ask?

Because artichokes are very good for you. They are high in vitamins. Here is a true-life testimonial from my great Aunt Esther:

Aunt Esther: "Artichokes saved my life!! I was about to expire after a misdiagnosed liver ailment (lawsuit pending) when my fine, young great-nephew, here, shoved an uncooked artichoke into my mouth."

Aman: "I didn't have time to cook it due to the urgency of the situation."

Aunt Esther: "Upon swallowing the artichoke..."

Aman: "I had to shove her jaw up and down to make her chew due to the urgency of the situation. When I saw that this was not working, I dislodged the partially chewed pieces from her mouth and paused. As I sat nibbling on the dislodged pieces I glanced out the window of Aunt Esther's 604th floor apartment and noticed a mother bird on her nest in a tree just outside the window feeding one of her youngins by chewing the meal and then regurgitating it into the young'uns beak. Hmmmmmmmm..."

Aunt Esther: "LET ME TELL THE STORY, DAMNIT!!!!!!"

Aman: "Sorry, Aunt Esther......"(whimper, whimper)

Aunt Esther: "The only thing I remember from the whole experience is coming to and having the terrible taste of vodka in my mouth."

Aman: "That was to kill the germs, Aunty E!!!!!"

Aunt Esther: "For God's sake ... vodka? You know I'm allergic to grains of any kind and break out in hives with just the thought of them."

Aman: "But what about that artichoke, huh, Aunty? It saved your life, I tell you. It saved your life!!!"

– excerpt from the novel by Daktan Wagau, "Artichoke Man"
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